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Venerable Ajahn Vajiro -
Mature Emotions
"Mature emotions are ... those emotions that allow other people to
mature"
In the teachings of the Buddha there are mentioned the
Brahma
Viharas. These are usually translated as the divine, or heavenly abidings.
This is from a literal translation: Brahma - God, and Vihara -
Dwelling. They can be brought down from the heavens, to earth, by considering
that as emotions they motivate and encourage the transcending of the limitations
of basic human existence. This `transcending of limitation' is a definition of
growing. For the seed of this idea I am grateful to a friend who pointed out
that they can be considered the mature emotions. What follows are a few further
reflections; not intended as a comprehensive analysis of the Brahma Viharas
which may be found in a text-book on Buddhism.
Emotions, it seems clear to me,
are motivating. I tend to think of them as those things that cause, or fuel, or
drive us to, motion. They provide the fuel that drives the movement; the action,
towards or away from some object or situation. We move and act through body,
speech or mind and that movement is a response to the stimulation of the senses.
It is in the responding that we can first notice the arising of emotions. Before
the movement there is stimulation of the senses; this is the contact. A feeling
follows, then perception; it is this which is mixed with, or linked to, the
mature emotions. There is then in Pali no direct translation for the English
word emotion. An emotion is a mixture of perception and sankhara - habit
pattern; both of which may be consciously trained. Mature emotions are those
emotions that are the response of, and fuel the movement of, the mature person.
Sometimes the goal of Buddhism
can be described in terms that lead me to think that what is being sought is a
cold emotionless passionless heart - no response, no feeling, no desires, no
motivation. This conflicts with our image of the Buddha as someone with a strong
motivation, a strong compassion to lead a life that would be of greatest benefit
to all beings.
Mature emotions are also those
emotions that allow other people to mature. So when a person acts or responds
with mature emotion, other humans are helped in a way that allows them to
transcend, to grow beyond their limitations. This appears abstract; and yet when
we consider how parents can best allow their children to mature, it is through
the expression of mature emotion.
The four `maturing emotions',
as explained here, may be realised, in practice, as being linked; only divided
for the sake of convenient analysis and explanation. They are like different
aspects of the same place, different ways of describing heaven. We describe the
different aspects to help us to find a way of noticing them so we may express
them, play with them, in our lives.
The metta - kindness -
engendered in us encourages us to accept ourselves and others, and so to
understand ourselves and others. Understanding implies wisdom. And this wisdom
is that which allows us to find the way, to grow beyond, or let go of, that
which limits and binds the heart. The kindness expressed to others allows them
to accept themselves and others. This is an emotional, gut or heart acceptance
that allows the acts of body, speech and mind that are a response to that which
is perceived as `other' to be kind; not motivated by not-liking, not motivated
by aversion or fear. The effect is unlimited Metta is radiant and
attractive, warming to those that are cold, cooling to those that are hot.
Karuna - Compassion - works. It works for us in allowing us to perceive
the pain, anguish, affliction, agony, torment and distress of others clearly,
through allowing it into our experience also. It is then something that has
moved further out of the realm of the ignored or the unconscious into the realm
of the included, the accepted, the conscious. Compassion is spacious, allowing
the way things are to exist, to change, and to end. Particularly it allows pain
to end. This means that it must be patient, not in any hurry to force pain to
end or to try officiously to get rid of pain. It is the active side of wisdom
and is the supreme purifier. The Buddha's compassion allowed him to realise that
there is still something that can be done by a fully enlightened being. It was
compassion that motivated him to teach "for the benefit of those with
little dust in their eyes".
Mercy is a way to think of
compassion, a word not often used and yet evocative of the quality of heart that
is willing to bear the burdens of others; willing to always help to the best of
its ability, listening out for the cries for help and acting. The `cries' may
not be loud. It can be as ordinary as helping to clean-up after an event or set
up before the event. Whenever we notice that some assistance would be
appreciated and are willing to act to give it, we practise karuna.
Mudita is usually translated as sympathetic joy. This has meant little to
me. The suggestions in the words of sympathy, pathetic and joy suggest an
omelette that has a strange flavour. `Sympathy' and `joy' seem to mix easily; it
is the addition of `pathetic' by alliteration that jars the palate. Appreciate,
joy, enjoy, and bring joy to, are words that evoke from me the qualities of
heart that are the opposite of envy and jealousy; the opposite of those
qualities that wish to bring someone down to a lower level.
Mudita implies full
consciousness. We need to discriminate, to be conscious, to open to the
possibility of appreciation. Particularly encouraged is consciousness of the
good, the virtue and the wisdom of others. What mudita allows is the arising of
an aspiration to do or to be likewise. Luang Por Sumedho has said that when we
can appreciate the beauty of a rose in full bloom, we can be moved by mudita.
The suggestion is to practise at all levels. Sometimes when looking at a rose we
can be caught by so-called `realism' and just see that the flower will fade; we
can be a bit like Scrooge with "bah humbug", a sour response to any
suggestion that beauty can be appreciated without falling into desire to possess
or hold on to. The balance is provided when upekkha is present.
Upekkha: again first the usual translation - equanimity. I prefer
serenity, with the implied suggestion of accepting limitation and rising above
it. The phrase, "be serene in the oneness of things" has always struck
me as a beautiful suggestion to my heart when there is frustration with the pace
of life; the limitations of the universe; or the limitations of myself or
others. There has to be a conscious acceptance of the limited way things are, to
allow the heart to train to transcend that limitation.
On a mundane level, if I wish
to train myself to touch type I have first to accept that right now there is not
the ability to touch type; and only then can the effort be honestly made to
learn to train the fingers and the eyes to work together in an automatic way. If
I am unwilling to accept the fact that right now there is not the ability and
yet I wish to touch type then I can pretend, but the only person I will be
really fooling is myself. We do this on a grand scale when we would like to be
mature and fulfilled people and we are unable to accept the limitations we find
ourselves with. We can then pretend to be mature when we are in fact not really
clear about our emotions or intentions and allow ourselves to be motivated by
immature and damaging emotions. In the case of touch typing there is no real
harm done; in the case of the person pretending to themselves and others that
they are grown up, it is more dangerous both for themselves and others.
The four Brahma Viharas
work together. Ajahn Buddhadasa talked in terms of upekkha overseeing the other
three. In skilful and beautiful situations mudita is the mature motivation of
the heart. If it is possible to alleviate a situation where there is pain or
distress compassion maybe invoked. An unpleasant or ugly situation invokes
metta. Acceptance, an aspect of metta, finds its echo in the acceptance of
limitation implied in upekkha, which is why metta is such an important
beginning.
For most of us and even in
animals it is metta, as found in the acceptance of the mother of the
child, that is the first emotion that allows us, and others, to grow and begin
to mature. If there is no metta expressed to an offspring, particularly a
human child, it will either die quickly or grow to be a very warped and immature
individual. It is the primary motivation that allows the very young to mature.
The young express it in the way they reach out and learn about the place in
which they find themselves. Young children can pick up things without
discrimination and, to the horror of the adults, place them in the mouth. There
is in this action of the child a very crude level of acceptance and lack of
discrimination operating as the child begins to reach out beyond itself.
Compassion allows us to
recognise the changes and developments that are a part of the natural changes
from baby, to child, to young person, to adult, to old person - and the pain of
separation from the known, which is part of this process - and bear the changes
sensitively.
Mudita allows us to enjoy life.
The beauty and the wonder of this strange experience of being a sensitive
separate life somehow mysteriously connected with it all. And when all the fear
of the unknown has been allowed to fall away, the wonder of the unknowable can
be appreciated and enjoyed.
What moves us through life,
through the uncertainties and changes is what can bring some freedom for people.
Our intentions move us through life, our intentions are the area of our greatest
freedom. To use and train this freedom wisely is the challenge.
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