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Venerable Ajahn Sucitto -
Making good use
of dukkha
If they are
not wisely reflected upon the Four Noble Truths run something like this:
life is painful; the cause of it is because we have desire; the ending of
the pain of life is by getting rid of desires; to get rid of desires we live
a perfect life - perfectly mindful, perfectly concentrated, perfect
understanding, perfect thoughts, perfect speech, perfect action, perfect
livelihood, perfect effort - The Four Noble Truths. If that is what the
Buddha taught you start to think: "How on earth did Buddhism ever become a
world religion?" The First Noble Truth immediately puts you right off! But,
Dhamma is not an abstract truth; it is something to contemplate, to reflect
on. We take a seemingly simple truth and use that to understand ourselves
and what is actually happening in the moment. So when we reflect on the Four
Noble Truths, or the problematic, unsatisfactory nature of existence, it is
this existence here - this moment here, that we look at from within. What
the Buddha is pointing out in the First Noble Truth is that this restless,
unsatisfied feeling is the very thing that tends to drive us on in our
search for understanding and enlightenment. The feeling of wanting to know
more, or not being content with being born and lumbering along: eating,
sleeping, procreating and dying. There is something in the human being that
is looking for something other than that; it is an inner search or
restlessness, an aspiration - there must be something more than this to
life. On the physical level being born means there are bound to be problems.
We are born into a realm where the nature of the sense consciousness is to
experience either things that we like or things we do not like. Things we
are indifferent to, we hardly notice. The pleasant things tend to go away
when we want them to remain and the unpleasant things last too long. Because
we are not getting what we want, there is always a desire for something
more. So being born we can recognise that this is what things are like; and
we can reflect upon it - "How does this apply to my life and personal
aims?". When the Buddha taught this, he said that dukkha, or
unsatisfactoriness, is a truth not just to be accepted but understood. He
realised it needed to be understood that this feeling of unsatisfactoriess
is not something to despair about, but to think: "There is something worth
looking at in here." That glimmering of understanding that one should
penetrate and look into the problematical nature of existence is insight.
The act of reflecting has revealed a mind that is apart from, and observes
the problem - that is not part of the problem. The Buddha then explained the
origin of these problems as this restless, thirsty feeling that runs hither
and thither. This takes three forms: sense desire dependent on the sense
consciousness of eye, ear, nose, tongue, body or the thinking mind; the
desire to become something – the ambition to get something or be somebody;
or the desire to get rid of things - including the desire to get rid of
desire! What the Buddha realised was that this hankering, this restless
feeling, is something to be released, to let go of. When he had let go, the
nature of the ending, the release from the unsatisfactory feeling was
realised. The cessation of suffering is realised through this complete
letting go, abandonment, release, relinquishment of every kind of craving
and hankering after this or that. From this relinquishment comes the skilful
means - the way to do it – not just in the practice of meditation, but in
all the aspects of life: speech, thought, action, deeds - the way to
abandoning. The act of reflection itself is an insight that arises
continually at any point on this path, because the reflective mind is able
to step back and see this process of desire as it occurs in the sense
consciousness. The reflective mind that knows, that sees, is not involved in
that process. What is it that knows things are unsatisfactory; that is able
to watch that process happening without reacting by turning away or going
off and finding something else to do? Something there is awake, is
dispassionate, is transcendent. When we look at an unsatisfactory thing
there is the awakening, the moment of seeing that this is just happening to
the eye, the ear, the nose, the body or the thought and arising there. So
the transcendence of unsatisfactoriness is not an annihilation of it. It is
there that one begins to use these Noble Truths, to apply them to where
dissatisfaction occurs. So where is desire for most of us? You get hungry
only when there is a desire for food, but the continuous unsatisfactory
feeling of human beings is in the mind. There is the desire to become
something, of feeling that life has been wasted if one hasn't become
something. We like to develop, to be respected, to become somebody; which is
just a mental impression, an idea of oneself as being this or that. Then
there is the desire to get rid of things: for example, something
objectionable arises in our consciousness and we want to get rid of it, not
wanting to notice the pettiness or jealousy or bitterness of our minds. The
desire to get rid of suffering or hatred is a thing worth reflecting upon.
Sometimes the sense consciousness can be extremely nasty; it is like that -
sense desire is a violent feeling. When something attracts you, you can feel
your senses really get pulled towards it. We can make a terrible problem out
of a sense desire: trying to get rid of it is the great error that occurs if
we do not reflect. But transcendence occurs when your subjective
consciousness, your citta, is watching this process happen. So you put more
energy and a sense of balance into the practice of watching, rather than
entering into and being dragged around by desire. And one finds the
deepening strength of mindfulness. Sense consciousness is not easy to watch.
It can be quite powerful and its blemishes are something one does not wish
to see, so one tends to want to get rid of it. The movement of sense
consciousness away from things is also violent and powerful and because it
can happen for no apparent reason one can find this very alarming. We begin
to see that not only can the sense consciousness be violent, it can be
irrational too. It doesn't have to have a good reason for it. Things can be
extremely irritating, particularly when you live according to a routine.
Anything you stick with for a while your mind starts to find annoying. The
person you are living with - he's all right ... except: "I wish he wouldn't
leave his slippers that way. I have heard that joke five times - he always
tells it every year at the Christmas party, and it is not even funny". You
can develop quite an aversion over things like that! Certainly these kind of
hindrances come up leading the monastic life. I used to get very irritated
walking on alms round every morning. Other monks would walk behind me and
one of them used to clear his throat. I found this extremely irritating for
some reason. Whenever he did do it I wanted to kill him. It would just jump
up like that. It would go away again - he probably wanted to kill me too.
You recognise when this sort of things happen that it is quite likely that
you are annoying other people. Living a life where you are trying to be kind
and pure and enlightened and finding yourself hating somebody for clearing
his throat can make you terribly depressed about yourself. This is because
the desire to become something, to be somebody identifies with everything
that passes through the mind. This desire to become is an obstacle because
at that moment we are not being mindful of what is happening in our
consciousness, we are acting upon it. The thought is reaching out to become
something rather than reflecting on where you are right now. One has to
bring the practice to where the suffering is at this moment, not to some
theory of getting rid of suffering. If you say: "I will not have any more
defilements" that is a good enough aspiration, but in practice it can be a
disaster. The Third Noble Truth then is to let go of every kind of
hankering, wanting which indulges in the senses, or rejects them. Wanting to
get rid of consciousness, thoughts, emotions, passions, lust, hatred is
suffering. To understand this is to realise that desire itself is not really
the problem, it is the attachment to the forms it takes. You can see that
feeling arise. If you are able to let go of the idea of being somebody or
becoming something, and contemplate that feeling in the mind - it comes, it
does all kinds of things and then it passes away. At that moment you let go
of desire. You decided to give up every kind of hope or despair, just to be
there reflecting on it - and then it passes away. Finding the balance where
that can happen is a fine art. Our sense consciousness tends to go to these
two poles: attraction towards, aversion away from. So the nature of the
Middle Way is not a mediocre compromise but a fine balance. The Buddha
descirbed it as the most useful thing to understand. Neither sensual
indulgence nor its opposite, - asceticism or mortification of the flesh -
are profitable; they get you nowhere. These two extremist tendencies occur
in our own mind when we apply these truths to our lives from moment to
moment. How much time do we spend repressing our thoughts and feelings;
hating ourselves for having them, feeling that we should not have them or
just indulging in moods of one kind or another. I used to be a very intense
meditator. I would practise many hours a day and would be extremely worried
if somebody talked to me because I would feel that just to sit and have a
conversation with somebody was not the Noble Path. In Thailand I could
always be aloof; go off into my hut and meditate. But in England you have to
live in little houses and English people like to drink tea and chat. I'd
find myself thinking "I didn't come here just to chat about weather and
answer silly questions, I came here to meditate and cut through defilements.
If we have to talk, let's talk about Dhamma". Then I would look for the
abbot and he would be sitting around seemingly enjoying meeting people,
chatting with them and drinking tea! I'd be thinking: "Please let the
teacher be really diligent - ascetic and grim" and he looked quite at ease
happy drinking tea and talking to old ladies about this that and the other.
One could feel this irritation boiling up inside because of the desire to
become something. Where is the suffering in that moment? It is at that
particular moment of not getting what you want. Something arises that you
don't want. You want to be absolutely serious when things are not serious.
One tends to manifest this desire to become something upon the outside
world, to people you associate with, who are a reflection of yourself. "My
friends have to be a certain way because they are my friends, my family, my
husband". This sense of me and mine attaches all over the place; so not only
do we have this sense of wanting to get rid of things, wanting to become
things for ourselves, but also for other people we identify with. We can do
this with our children: "I don't want little Johnny to be staying out late
at night - why isn't he grateful and sweet?" We can all suffer from that
kind of thing, but the problem is really in one's own mind, isn't it? Often
we see that the things we find intolerable in other people are the things we
haven't come to terms with in ourselves.- the rebel that says: "I want to go
and have a good time" is merely something arising in the sense
consciousness. So, it is fine to aspire to wisdom, truth, peace, virtue,
whatever – but actually putting it into practice means that we have to use
it rather than become it, and that is the difference. We have to use our
wisdom, truth and virtue towards the sense consciousness; which is not by
its nature wise, truthful or virtuous, because it is not supposed to be. It
is there to attract, to attach, to hold on to, to get rid of things. That is
what it is about. Touch feels pain. And it reacts. The sense of touch as I
stick my finger in the candle says "No, don't do that". It doesn't say:
"Notice the pain, or contemplate this"! I used to think the end of
suffering, complete enlightenment, would be knowing it all - having it all
clear and figured out. When one thinks like this, of course, one is not able
to reflect upon or be clear about the state of unknowing as the changing
condition that arises in the mind passes away. Wanting to know it all is a
source of suffering that also is to be abandoned. So, we need to remember
that these Four Noble Truths need to be used and applied. At the point where
we actually open our consciousness to being present with and contemplating
this tight, obstructive, constricted feeling, then it disappears. Then
Dhamma arises in the mind. It does not arise from ego consciousness - it
arises when we let go of that. The result is a tremendous heartfelt
compassion and tolerance; a well-wishing for oneself and other beings. This
is just a natural result. We each have to find our own skilful means,
through using mindfulness. We have to find the balance for ourselves, and
then take refuge in seeing things as they are making peace with yourself and
the world as it is. Then we realise that which never was suffering, which
was never caught up. This strange dream of being the sense consciousness has
confused us for a long time, but when we realise peace, we suddenly remember
- that place is where we always were.
Published in
“The Middle Way”
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