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Venerable Ajahn Sucitto -
The Making and Sharing of Merit
A guided meditation by
Ajahn Sucitto at Cittaviveka during the Winter Retreat, 2004.
Sharing of merit is a practice that we do in the monastery every day,
although sometimes we may not give it our full attention. What merit is
about and what sharing is about are areas we may not fully appreciate.
Merit is any degree of good fortune or blessing. It's a result that we
receive. For instance, we have received the merit of this human birth;
the merit of being able to reflect; the merit of being able to step back
from instinct and passion; the merit of knowing the difference between
what is skilful and what is unskilful; the merit of being not completely
dominated by sense appetite or aversion. From this basis we can
cultivate meritorious actions.
In our present situation we are mostly relieved from pestilence, famine
and violent acts of nature - cold winter is about as tough as it gets.
We are free from war and oppression. This is something to acknowledge.
Also we have received the merit of being free to practise the Buddha's
teaching. We have physical forms that are capable of sitting still. We
live in a situation where Dhamma is taught and lived and exemplified;
where generosity is the standard; where every day we are supported by
people's free will offerings of material requisites, teachings, efforts
and work. We live in a place where precepts are kept, where we feel
safe. There is no cursing, swearing, reviling, no stealing, no physical
violence. These are the blessings of this situation. There isn't even
the demand: 'You should feel grateful.' In our practice we can
acknowledge this and let ourselves drink it in. We can float in it, this
field of merit.
How much bigger than ourselves is this field of merit - how much vaster!
It includes parents that provided and nourished our bodies, the many
people who have healed them and fixed them. It includes the people who
have instructed us, and people - some of them far removed - who have
provided requisites, a reasonable degree of security, and freedom of
speech. It includes teachers from the time of the Buddha onwards who
have preserved the Dhamma, revealed it, explained it, expressed it,
presented it, translated it, transfused it, and brought it to where we
are now. None of all this could we have done through our own efforts.
None of us could have organised and made this happen ourselves. That
assumption of 'me making it happen' has no place here. So we relax that
assumption, and tune into how things have actually come to be.
As we contemplate that galaxy of merit, we should recognise our own
star.
Of course, that star is not the only thing going; but we should
recognise for ourselves the goodness that each one of us has done, the
harm that each of us has refrained from, the generosity that each has
practised, and the aspirations and good intentions that we have each
followed. We should not be shy about acknowledging our own efforts, our
patience, our struggling and our generosity. We are all part of that
field. We share and are shared; we are blessed and we bless. Our efforts
are part of the galaxy of merit. Though we have our own personal channel
- our particular ways of offering, of giving, loving, and forbearing -
the quality of that light is common to that of all the stars. If we
recognise this, we relax the differentiation between 'me' and 'others,'
not only in the present, but in other times too. The merit of the past
and the future is in the same continuum.
In understanding this we see that the mind is more of a channel than a
doer - something that can connect and receive and be shared, rather than
a personal possession that we do things with. It is something that can
touch and suffuse a vast array of beings, states and dimensions. To hold
it as 'me' or 'mine' would be a gross injustice.
If we see this, then there is a marvellous possibility of being, where
the mind is not held or cramped or twisted.
The creation of merit lies not merely in helping other people. It also
arises from recognising the selfless nature of mind, the shared
dimension of the mind and our activities. There isn't any achievement of
which one can say: 'This is mine. Only I did this. There were no other
agents involved.' There are always other causes and conditions which
point to the shared and sharing dimension of our lives.
The mind shares not only the dimensions of our other senses, it shares
the dimensions of other people's actions, and what we attribute to other
people. If we don't attune to its sharing nature, then the mind will
always grasp at something to have; it will always try to get something
and walk away with it - to have an experience and walk away with it -
then fondle it and treasure it like a dragon sitting over a pile of
gold. And, like that dragon, the mind will never really take in the
gold. When it grasps something, all it can do is sit on it. All that one
experiences then is the holding and a vague sense of smugness with the
gleam of the collected gold. But you can't be the gold; its shine is not
your shine. This grasping of experience is a defilement, a distortion of
the mind's true nature.
The sharing that takes place with the mind can be compared to the
physical sharing that takes place in the body. When we breathe, external
air enters and internal air is breathed out. It happens quite naturally.
There is a membrane between them, but it's porous - otherwise there's no
breathing. In the mind, the subjective sense is similar; it is not held
within a casing. It is subjective but it's not a self - it is not a
separate thing. If I see this, then how can I say that anything is
really mine?
What could the word 'mine' mean? The mind is boundless; boundaries are
our artificial creations. In truth, we partake of and share the merit of
our lives as if we were floating in a vast river, allowing ourselves to
be swept ever onwards.
In sharing merit with other people, we must first of all be able to meet
them. You cannot share or bless someone if you're not meeting them. This
meeting occurs in a shared dimension. In the practice of sharing merit,
we begin with people that we don't feel defensive or anxious about,
where there's a feeling of gratitude and trust, with people from whom
one feels a sense of blessing, beginning with one's spiritual mentors,
from the Buddha on down. When you bring someone like this to mind, you
can bring up the name or the face or the image. You can relax with it,
without feeling you have to prove anything, or pay back anything, or
feel guilty that you haven't been good enough. Just take in the
blessing; let yourself be blessed; let the energy of the mind in that
uplifted state flow, so that it is shared with that person. It feels
like a mind-to-mind or heart-to-heart connection - a meeting at a place
of blessing.
With people having aspects that we feel less blessed by or feel confused
by, we put those aspects aside and go to that place of blessing where
there is a merging and sharing. With anything that is uncomfortable or
disagreeable, either in oneself or the other person - the grittier bits
of fear or irritation - we digest them; we take them in as if absorbing
them. Merit can do that - just as when we eat, we take in the skin of
apples and the fibre of the vegetables - we digest all of it. In the
same way with these grittier elements, we absorb them all, doing it with
the feeling: 'May this be well. May this be received without aversion.'
So we take on the texture of the conditioned realm, its edges and
hardness and grit. We take in the blessings; we take in the grit; we
take it all, with the attitude, 'May this be well. May this be
released.' So if you find yourself with a memory of someone, and the
mind gets agitated or anxious about their welfare, or tries to fix or
change something, just stop, breathe in, breathe out; then, rather than
becoming involved in some personal activity that you feel you have got
to do, trust in the goodness, trust the connecting, trust the sharing to
bestow its blessing, to have its effect.
We can practise this sharing from the highest of beings to the least
fortunate; with those we feel a lot of sorrow or distress for, and with
people we feel antipathy towards, or fearful of, or numbed by. We digest
everything with the merit. We can be bigger than these particular
divisive qualities. The merit can be bigger than that; the goodness
doesn't have to be held back by the trembling and tensions in the mind.
The mind is capable of sharing. So every time it wants to retreat, or it
loses confidence, gather it up, incline it towards the sharing, the
trusting, the goodness. This attitude is reflected in the chant we do
every day: 'Through the goodness that arises from my practice, and
through this act of sharing, may all desires and attachments quickly
cease.'
Sharing is the truth of the mind. As for the holding, the needing and
the wanting, the merit lies in quelling them. It does not lie in
aversion to them, but in just quelling the holding and attachment to
things and actions - in quelling the sense of 'mine' and 'yours.'
May this meditation, this sharing, generate that field where beings
receive blessings and where the pain of selfhood, with its fear and
tension, is quelled!
Forest Sangha Newsletter: July 2004, Number 69
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