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Venerable Ajahn Candasiri -
A Question of Balance
Every
winter at our monasteries two or
three months are set aside as quiet retreat time — a time to focus more
intensively on our inner work.
The encouragement given during this time is towards cultivating a stiller,
quieter space within the heart. For it is only through attention to this that we
are able to observe all our skillful and less skillful habits, and to train the
mind — making it into a good friend, a good servant, rather than an enemy that
can lead us into all kinds of unhappiness.
Emerging from such a period of retreat highlights a dilemma faced by many people
— whether living as householders or in a monastic environment.
The question it poses regards finding an appropriate balance between essential
‘inner work’ — which requires periods of withdrawal and seclusion — and
our relationship with ‘the world,’ including the responsibilities we have
within our respective communities (whether family or monastic Sangha) and also
towards the greater whole. If our attention and energies are directed only
outwards towards our spiritual companions or towards society, it becomes clear
sooner or later that even if we expend every ounce of energy right up until the
last breath, there will still be more to do — the needs, the suffering of the
world ‘out there’ is endless. We can never make it all all
right.
If we try, as many of us have to do before the penny finally drops, the result
is exhaustion, despair and disillusionment. Eventually we see that actually it’s
a question of balance; we need to find a way of balancing our ‘inner’ work
and our ‘outer’ work.
We begin to appreciate a basic paradox: that in order to be truly generous,
truly of service to others, we actually need to be completely ‘self-centred.’
We need to be able to stay in touch with our own hearts, listening carefully to
what they tell us, even while engaged in external activity or interaction.We
need to remain attentive to our own needs and to really make sure that these are
well taken care of, even if it means disappointing people, letting them down,
not living up to the expectations they may have of us (or that we have of
ourselves). This is not at all easy, with the conditioning most of us have:
"Don’t be selfish."
There is a simile given by the Buddha of two acrobats. The master said to his
pupil, "You watch out for me and I will watch out for you. That way we’ll
show off our skill successfully and receive our reward." But the pupil
contradicted him, "But that won’t do at all, Master. You should look
after yourself, and I’ll look after myself, that is how we shall
perform successfully."
The Buddha then goes on to explain that, in a sense, it was the pupil who had
got it right; that it is by watching out for ourselves, through the practice of
mindfulness, that we look after others. But also, when we are mindful in regard
to others that is a way of looking after our own hearts.
He further pointed out that we look after ourselves in a way which benefits
others by really applying ourselves to the cultivation of the Foundations of
Mindfulness; and that through patience, gentleness and kindly consideration we
not only care for others, but also protect our own hearts.
During his lifetime, the Buddha established the fourfold assembly as a social
structure that would facilitate the cultivation and maintenance of the qualities
of mindfulness and consideration of others.
However, whether we go forth as monks or nuns, or live as householders, one
thing is clear: it’s likely to take time. This practice has to be developed
and worked at over a lifetime.
Usually, things don’t just change and fall into place with the first glimmer
of insight; we need to do the work of laying the foundation, using the tools and
guidance that the Buddha presented. Even though these were presented over 2,500
years ago they still work well, having been used over generations by men and
women to shape their lives — to enable the ripening of the potential that each
one of us has.
It waits quietly in the heart for us to choose to make its cultivation the
priority of our lives.
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